Guest column: How am I supposed to survive this layoff? Not with cliches...
Kim Grabina-Como
I was going to call this “Tips for Surviving a Layoff”…sounded like a good title right, but maybe that’s only because it’s all I seem to Google these days!
I’m tired of being an ostrich. I’m finally taking my head out of the sand to acknowledge that YES, THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN…after 16-years, I got laid off!
Now this working mom of two is knee deep in unchartered territory, visiting semi-foreign lands that include “Self-Doubt Island”, “Sadness City”, “Freak out Mountain”, and the world famous “Anger Apartment Complex” – it’s really too soon to give you my full review of the place, but my first impression tells me I do NOT want to spend a lot of time here!
Visit Kim's bog, Two Moms on a Train.
Funny enough, while charting my “escape route” I somehow managed to take a wrong turn and instead ended up taking a ride on the “Cliche Cafe Carousel” — you know the one where instead of horses you climb aboard the “phrase of the day” which include sentiments such as:
“THIS IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE”
“NO LOOKING BACK”
“THERE ARE BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS OUT THERE FOR YOU”
and the world famous…“NOW YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT”
If it’s not me saying these things to other people, it’s them saying it to me, all while I’m screaming “HELLO, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THE RIDE, I WANT TO GET OFF NOW!”
For me, it’s truly NOT about looking back, but rather how I MOVE forward. I’m tired of the regrets, but even more tired of the excuses. You see, I made a LOT of them in my last job. I know we all do, it’s how we survive, but I CAN’T even try to count up the amount of times I said “oh sweetheart, give mommy 5-more minutes to send a quick email“…5-minutes which inevitably turned into a 1/2 hour, then an hour…and well you get the picture! If I uttered that phrase LESS than 5 times a night it would be a miracle. And now, I would give anything to get those “5-minutes” back! However, I CAN’T!
I can’t take back my past, BUT I CAN take control of my future!
It’s only been a week, but I’ve started:
TALKING TO EVERYONE I KNOW! No joke! Friends, friends of friends, former colleagues, people I ride the train with, the train conductors themselves, the guy at the coffee shop, etc…it’s “Networking 101″ in its rawest form. However, I have found that the more I talk about it, the more people are willing to connect me with someone else to talk to. It’s my own little “Circle of Life”!
COFFEE/BREAKFAST/LUNCH MEETINGS “Let’s meet for coffee, breakfast, lunch, insert meal here”… I swear I’m going to gain 10 pounds by the time I land my new job, but something about a meal or even just coffee, takes the pressure off. SO, I meet with both new and old members of my “Circle of Life”. In fact, one day I had 3 coffee dates in a row…needless to say I was shaking by the third!
READING A close friend of mine has a book out called The Plateau Effect: Getting from Stuck to Success https://bobsullivan.net/the-plateau-effect/ - funny enough before my layoff I was proud of my friend and all of his success, but little did I know how relevant his book would actually be to me! (Bob's note: I did not put her up to this. But I appreciate it.)
Now if I could just get over the FEAR…you know the fear of:
not getting ANOTHER JOB
of FALLING APART in front of my kids, my husband, my family, my friends(the kid’s teachers, the Verizon wireless consultant – thanks Lindsey wherever you are!)
of INTERVIEWING (Did I do enough research? Did I really just say that?! Why is he/she looking at me like that? Do I have something in my teeth?)
of fitting into that INTERVIEW SUIT that I haven’t worn in 16+years (yet another reason I love Spanx!)
AND most important the fear of LETTING MYSELF DOWN!
I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t ever expect to. But I will keep you updated on my progress along the way! And if you’ve been in this “movie” before – let me know how you #SurvivedURLayoff - I’d love to hear from you!
Kim Grabina-Como is co-author of a fantastic mommy blog called Two Moms on a Train, about the complex life of juggling career and children. This column originally appeared on that site and is cross-posted with permission. And admiration.